Today was going good- Andy did his first dive and then we went back to the hotel for some lunch and then went to his two hour therapy session - he had speech first and then had Occupation therapy - however he hasn't been the same today - it has been an off day -
During speech he wasn't that into chewing or swallowing or even getting his tongue out - during occupational therapy he appeared tired - after his therapy sessions we walked back to the hotel and I tried to feed him one quick time - because I know him all to well that he will fall asleep on the way to the oxygen therapy center and I won't be able to feed him until his two hours of therapy are done which is around 6 pm- but I was only able to get 1/2 of a jar of food in him when he fell asleep.
As we were driving to the oxygen center - Andy asked me if Brextin was locked up and having a seizure - as I looked at him in his car seat - he was in fact in the middle of having a seizure - I then jumped into the back seat and calmed him down and the seizure passed - he did not throw up which was a plus - but of course it caused Andy and myself into a fight.
I am uncertain if anybody can understand the toll it takes on a relationship to have a special child - myself - I have been on a high cloud proud of seeing him improve in certain areas - and now this has brought me back to reality - he may never live a normalcy of a life - we will always be living in fear of when his next seizure will occur.
Andy did admit that he to has seen some improvements lately - but believes it is mostly due to the therapy end and not the oxygen end - I myself think it is because they are being paired as of right now -
Who knows - Andy is currently in the chambers right now and I am praying that everything will be ok - and no more seizures will occur - I just wish he could enjoy life without it being interrupted with these terrible seizures and delays - why is it our precious boy? why why why - I just want to be able to enjoy him crawling, walking, grabbing or wanting me, or having a tantrum or even fighting with his brother -I guess as of right reality needs to set in and need to remind myself they are mostly dreams and may nerve occur.