A website called - "My Child Has Wings" made this for me!

We hit the paper again!

Students Supporting Students

Elk Mound High School students and members of the group Students Supporting Students will be collecting donations for Ronald McDonald House in Rochester, Minn., and Faith Lodge in Danbury.

When Emily Stokke decided as an Elk Mound High School freshman she wanted to get more involved in her community, joining Students Supporting Students seemed like a no-brainer.

Three years later, Stokke, now a 17-year-old high school senior, can rattle off a number of activities - such as promoting safety among young students and buying gifts for needy families - she has taken part in during her time with the high school group that helps students and community members.

"I think it's so much more rewarding going shopping for others," Stokke said about the group's holiday shopping effort, her favorite of the organization's many activities.

These days Stokke is SSS co-chairwoman and is preparing for the group's next opportunity to make a positive difference. Beginning Monday, the group will collect items for charities in Minnesota and Wisconsin that supported its adviser, Randi Stanley, during her son's illness and after his death.

Stanley's son, Brextin, died in May 2010 before his third birthday after a 2007 diagnosis of infantile spasms, a rare form of epilepsy. During Brextin's medical treatments and after his death, the Stanley family received extensive support from Ronald McDonald House in Rochester, Minn., and Faith Lodge in Danbury.

"We always encourage the kids to do and act out what (they have learned through SSS), but this time we're actually putting forth something extra," said Stanley, who is one of the group's advisers and works as an Elk Mound business and information technology teacher.

Since 2001, Students Supporting Students has been an active organization at Elk Mound High School that focuses on asset-building, Stanley said. Asset-building centers around 40 developmental assets, such as integrity and social justice. This month group members are finding ways to help others.

"We are basically a group that focuses on giving back to others as you would unto yourself," Stanley said, adding that more than 90 high school students are involved.

SSS members are encouraged to lead by example and to make happy, healthy decisions. The organization is made possible through grants, which Stanley's fellow adviser, Peggy Bodenburg, writes. More than 90 students are involved.

Stokke said she has grown as a person through her involvement in the organization.

"I'm learning to be a lot more helpful to others and not be afraid to lend a hand to those in need," she said.

Breann Schossow can be reached at 715-833-9203.

Faith Lodge!

We were so LUCKY to have the opportunity to stay at Faith Lodge in Danbury Wisconsin. http://www.faithslodge.org/ It is sponsored by the Ronald McDonald Foundation. In order to stay there you have to qualify in three ways: 1) lost a child under the age of 18 within the last 3 years 2) Have a terminally ill child under 18 3) lost a son or daughter while serving in active duty

Private parties can reserve the lodge as well. While you stay at the lodge you are able to connect with families that can relate to you and your family. They group the three categories together. So the week that we stayed allowed us to bond with 4 other families who have lost a child under 18 as well.

I would love to go back next year - you are only able to attend the lodge up to 3 years after the passing of your child. Your first visit is based on a donation to the lodge then the price goes up the following times. They offer group sessions and wonderful bonding activities. I truly enjoyed our time there and it was real comforting to be surrounded by such caring families!

Here are some of their children's webpages:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/krahnfamily
http://njoybooks.com/sunnydays/
http://riversrally.org/
http://riverdaniel-foreverourangel.blogspot.com/
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/vivianmcalister

Please vote for our son's memory garden!

I have just entered Brextin's Memory Garden into a local contest - if we win - I could win prizes to help to enlarge his garden in the back of our home - you are allowed to vote - one time per day. The contest ends July 20th - I currently have around 60 votes - but the winner so far has over 300 - please please please help me out - please post this to any of your other support groups -

You will need to register first - they then approve your account - by emailing you then you may return to their site and vote (remember one time per day) until July 20th. Ours is currently #21 out of 23 entries - look for the garden that is filled with SUNFLOWERS - plus the image of our beautiful son peaking through. I did include a description under the garden entry as well.

Thank you so much for the love and support!!!

Just click on the link below!

We are sadly approaching our one year anniversary . . .

This coming Friday will be our one year anniversary of our son's passing - we are planning a couple of events to honor his life.

• t-shirts in his memory are being created


• we plan on visiting an eagle center near us - to remind us he is soaring high above and watching over us


• lighting wishing lanterns into the nightly sky so they can reach the skies of heaven! http://www.wishlantern.com/


• a memory ad will be placed in this Sunday's newspaper which is Mother's Day - which is fitting since he was born on Mother's Day 4 years ago!

Montage of Brextin's life

You can create a 30 second Montage for "FREE" I had a very hard time limiting the video to just 30 seconds. Enjoy!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Here is a wonderful video - honoring our son and many others who suffer from epilepsy!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

This video was created by Karen Siciliano - she has a beautiful daughter who has IS - Charli.

In memory of Brextin (car decals)

I found a lady on ebay - her auction was actually for a soldier in the service or someone with breast cancer but I just sent a message to inquire if the ribbon could be purple and have it read epilepsy - and for $4.99 a piece I was really pleased - I ordered 6 for family members but I won't be offended if they don't want one - they are basically a vinyl sticker that was real easy to put on - it said they are easy to remove as well. I kinda think the sticker resembles that he is always with us - even in the car!

This is my favorite video!

Listen to Brextin's giggle - he would only giggle like this when tossed in the air or swung side to side - that is why the video is blurry - because the camera was in my hands as well - I am SO glad that I caught this on tape!!

My first Christmas in heaven

This poem was written by a 13 year old boy who died of a brain tumor that he had battled for four years. He died on December 14, 1997. He gave this to his mom before he died. His name was Ben.

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can’t comparewith the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart
But I am not so far away, we really aren’t apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones, you know I hold you dear.
And be glad I’m spending Christmaswith Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do
For I can’t count the blessing or love he has for each of you
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear
Remember, I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year

A very special gift!

The Very Special Gift
By S. Guevara

Once upon a time, three angels were busily working in the miracle factory. They were responsible for wrapping up all the little miracles and sending them on their way. Normally they wrapped each one in bright, sturdy paper with big, shiny ribbons. They stamped them with a delivery date and away they would go to the parents who eagerly awaited their arrival. Things usually ran pretty smoothly.

One day, however, down the conveyor belt came a little miracle that made the angels pause. "Oh my," said the first angel "this one's uhm...well...different." "Yes, he is unique" said the second angel. "Well I think he is quite special," said the first angel "but I don't think he will quite fit our standard wrapping procedures." And the second angel added, "And we know he's special, but will everyone else?" "Not a problem," said the third angel "obliviously a special miracle deserves extra special wrapping; and of course we'll send him off with our most heartfelt blessings. Then everyone will see how special he is." "What a wonderful idea!" replied the othims. So they searched the shelves high and low for their finest paper, and their most delicate ribbons.

When they were done, they stood back and admired their work. "Beautiful!" they all agreed. "Now for our blessings," said the third angel "for it is time for him to go." "I will bless him with innocence and happiness," said the first angel. "And I will bless him with strength to face the many challenges that lie ahead" said the second angel. "And I will bless him with an inner beauty that will shine on all who look upon him" said the third angel. Before sending him off the third angel, who was very wise, gently tucked a note inside.

And it said,

"Dear Parents:

Today you have received a very special gift. It may not be what you were expecting and you may be disappointed, angry and hurt. But please know that he comes with many blessings. And, while time may be pain, he will bring you much joy. He will take you on a very difficult journey but you will meet many wonderful people. He will teach you patience and understanding and make you reach deep inside yourselves to find a source of strength and faith you never knew you had. He will enrich your lives and will touch the hearts of all who meet him. He may be fragile but he has great inner strength.

So please handle him with care. Give him lots of attention and shower him with hugs and kisses. Love him with all your heart and he will blossom before your eyes. Him spirit will shine like the brightest star for all to see and you will know that you are truly blessed." 

National event: Light a candle for all children taken way to early!

At 7:00 p.m. on December 12, 2010 please light a candle in memory of our son along with the many other children who have been taken way to early in life.

Compassionate Friends organize the event.

The Compassionate Friends, with nearly 630 U.S. chapters, is the nation’s largest self-help bereavement organization for families going through the natural grieving process after the death of a child. Members include bereaved parents (or anyone in that role), siblings, and grandparents.

For more information, visit www.compassionatefriends.org or call the National Office at 877-969-0010. TCF’s Facebook Page with more than 14,000 members can be reached through the organization’s website at www.compassionatefriends.org. The organization also has an Online Support Community with trained moderators and daily sessions.

Been thinking and struggling. . .

Earlier today I received some news that we have now lost another child who was a member of our Infantile Spasms community (he was only 4 years old) - which caused me to flash back our son's passing -

I have been struggling these past few days - like yesterday - I just began to cry while driving down a road. The night our son left us keeps flashing in my memory after hearing we just another member's son. I keep replaying it step by step. Getting the phone call around 10 pm while sleeping with my oldest son - and picking up the phone only to hear that Brextin has taken a turn for the worst and that he was being placed on a breathing machine and that I needed to get to MN as soon as possible. I then quickly called my daycare provider who came over right away to help comfort me and to take my oldest son with her. (she only lives 4 blocks away) Then I called my parents and my in-laws to fill them in - my mom and dad came and got me and we quickly drove to the cities. On my way there I called every pastor that I knew and left messages asking for prayers then I started to text everyone I knew asking for even more prayers - I then received a call from Andy telling me that he was getting his color back and everything was improving. So I started to calm down. Then once we got to the hospital the ER has a special lock down so I had to push an intercom asking to get in to be rushed to the PICU - there was another family who arrived at the same time - their father just had a heart attack - we were able to hug each other for support (a total stranger) then once I got to the floor I heard a child who was babbling just like Brextin did and I thought everything was ok - until the nurse directed me to the only "glass" room in the unit - then I walked in to notice my husband holding our son- (who I thought was sleeping) only to glance up and notice my husbands eyes were totally bloodshot and that is when he said - "we have lost him" I quickly fell to the floor and just screamed - how could I have missed saying good bye to our son!! Especially since he was bouncing and babbling just the day before and even sucking on his fingers - where did everything turn ugly?? Then shortly after my parents entered the room as well - while I was holding our son with a breathing tube in his mouth (unconnected) and I had to tell them - we were too late to say our good byes - it was so painful to say those words! I even wore my shirt that read "Love and Hope for Brextin" in hopes of everything being ok - I continue to have save the same shirt since my son's blood remains on it and I will never wash it -

For some reason - I thought by me sharing or venting my story out one more time would give me peace - ooh how I miss my little guy - I sure do miss him this holiday season - oh how I miss him!!

We will be attending a local event tomorrow night - it actually a national event (World Wide) - at 7:00 pm tomorrow it is encouraged that everyone lights a candle in memory of the many children who have lost their lives so soon - I ask for anyone who is reading this right now - please please light a candle in remembrance of all of our children - thank you so much!

Brextin's blog has been published!

I just purchased this blog to be printed in a hard-covered book format. www.blog2print.com It has over 209 colored pages - and I will cherish it forever!!

The best thing that I did was document his life - it will be a forever cherished item!

I do wish I would have started earlier - however I am blessed to have at least one year documented covering most of his accomplishments along with some of his setbacks! He was a true fighter and a loving son!

So True!

"I thought I would have had to teach my son about the world. It turned out I had to teach the world about my son. They saw a boy who could not talk, walk, or stand. I saw a miracle who didn't need words.” -- Unknown

This statement is SO true!!

Brextin might have consumed my life . . . but he stole my heart!

We were a team and I miss him dearly!!

This garden stake will be perfect for Brextin's garden!

I specially ordered some personalized garden stakes off of ebay right after Brextin became an angel and I am still waiting for them - it is going on 4 months - and I am hoping they still will be arriving. The lady told me they were shipped but some how got returned back to her home and they were all broken - so she is redoing them for me. I sure hope that I am not working with a dishonest person.

In the mean while - I found this website http://www.tagdesigns.com/personalized-garden-stake.htm They make a garden stake that will be similar to the one from the ebay lady- but isn't as high as quality. (the one from ebay will allow me to add a poem and is twice the size) This garden stake was under $25.00 and every time I look into his garden - I will see him staring back at me. Currently since Winter is approaching I have placed the garden stake into a rubber tree plant that is housed inside - we received the tree from my husbands friends in memory of our son.

A Beautiful Miracle (A necklace made just for me by a past student)

A former student of mine, Tyne has recently started to create beautiful necklaces in her spare time and I have been totally impressed with her designs that I asked if she would be willing to create a sunflower necklace for me to honor our son, Brextin. - I am overwhelmed with the piece of art that she created. I absolutely love it and will cherish it forever!

As you go through life - you tend to meet a lot of different people. Some of those people leave memories that will last a life time - and I must say that Tyne has always been a wonderful lady- who is thoughtful and caring and she will remain in my heart forever.

As I mentioned above, Tyne makes these beautiful necklaces in her spare time - but in reality - I have no idea when she creates these art pieces because she is also a full-time English teacher and has created a blog as well to show off her talent - here is her blog address:
http://tynebodennecklaces.blogspot.com/

Heaven's Very Special Child

This was sent to me after Brextin's passing . . .

Heaven's Very Special Child

A meeting was held, quite far from earth
"It's time again for another birth,"
Said the angels to the Lord above,
"This special child will need much love"
His progress may seem very slow,
Accomplishments he may not show
And he'll require extra care

From all the folks he meets down there.
He may not run or laugh or play
His thoughts may seem quite far away
In many ways he won't adapt,
And he'll be known as handicapped.
So let's be careful where he's sent
We want his life to be content

Please, Lord, find the right parents who
will do this special job for you.
They will not realize right away
the leading role they're asked to play
But with this child sent from above
comes stronger faith and richer love.
And soon they'll know the privilege given
in caring for this gift from Heaven.
Their precious charge, so meek and
mild is heaven's very special child.

By John and Edna Massimilla (Chicken Soup for the Unsinkable Soul)

Brextin's temporary headstone